Tuesday, November 18, 2008
This will now be the 4th time that I have tried to update this blog. It has been difficult to write and I am sorry that its taken so long. I took Shelley back to the hospital on Friday November 7. She had not been able to keep any food down for at least 10 days. They administered a drug through her port as soon as we arrived(that's the line that they had put in 4 weeks earlier that pretty much goes straight to her heart). This quickly put her at ease and she gradually began to stop vomiting. The doctor thought it would be a good idea to run another MRI and CT scan to see how things were progressing. By Sat night November 8 Shelley began to lose her sight and speech. She was so frustrated, she wanted to talk but was unable to say anything which made her cry. It took us most of the day on Sunday to finally figure out which drugs were the most effective to keep her calm. It was difficult to see how frustrated she was and sorry to all the visitors that had to be turned away at the hospital. She had lost her speech from Saturday to Wednesday. On Wednesday morning the doctor came in to give me the news from the MRI and CT scan. He found that the chemo had no effect. The spots that he previously saw on her liver had now fully engulfed it not counting the other areas. He said that this type of cancer moves very fast. It also effects the blood which causes it to clot. This is what was causing the nausea, blindness and no speech. Other than the cancer that her body is fighting she has had multiple blood clots to the brain which is causing mini strokes. The news was hard for me to swallow when the doctor informed me that there would be nothing else that he could do and gave Shelley up 5 weeks to live. He gave me a prescription for Hospice of Arizona so that they could come into our home and help Shelley stay comfortable and without pain. After informing Shelley of the news we cried for a good half hour straight. We took her back home that day Wednesday November 12. Haley's sister, Jenny Gray works for Hospice and was there that evening. I wish that I could fix this, more than anything. I wish that I could take her place, but as our Stake President Matt Riggs(our church leader) said to us "the Lord knows that she is ready and Mike your not". He's right. I have been truly amazed at the many life's that Shelley has touched, church, school, community, my work etc. We have been helping her stay comfortable. She wanted to see Lincoln's last football game on Thursday November 13. Coach Campbell let the whole family sit at the end of the end zone and she was able to hear Lincoln's name over the intercom when he made a tackle. She could only muster enough strength to stay for the first half. Coach Beal also invited Shelley to watch Colter's game at Higley on Friday but 2 days in a row was just to much for her. After the game the booster club,( Moms Unite) Coach, and the team met at the end zone and presented us with a donation. Shelley loves Higley football and enjoyed being part of Moms unite in years past. As I stood with Taylor, Lincoln and Colter it was very emotional. Colter just took off his shoulder pads laid down on the field and cried, last game of high school football, a loss, and mom. I don't blame him a bit. With that by Friday Shelley's speech was back up to 60%. I thought that it would be good for Gannon (our 19 year old on a mission for our church in Dominican Republic) to talk to his mother one last time before she passes. He called on Saturday and after much tears from the news he talked to Shelley. Our whole family knelt beside the bed as they talked. It was a very tender moment and we all wished that we could put our arms around Gannon. I guess in a way we did. All of us held Shelley for most of the night Saturday as her breathing became labored. Shauna Tucker (step sister-in-law and friend) had called me earlier that day and asked me if she could come over on Sunday and video tape Shelley giving some messages for the kids later in life. I called her Sunday morning and left her a message that she was welcome to come over but she no longer had her speech. I took the kids to church and when she got here she knelt down with Haley and Britney and asked the Lord to allow Shelley some more time to record some messages to her children. The Lord answered their prayer and Shelley was able to record several hours over the next 2 days. Shauna told me that Shelley said that she would be ready to go when she was done recording, I figure lets just keep her recording. I have wanted to stay with Shelley as much as I can. On Monday night November 17 Sam Flemming and friends held a benefit concert at the Higley performing arts center. The place was packed and I have heard that the performance was amazing. Shelley cried when I told her how many people attended. Brother Flemming thanks. The night of song, music, and laughs has made such a difference. Thanks to everyone that attended. Thanks also for the many that have kept Shelley in your prayers, I know that it has made a difference. We all want her to be healed but I now see that the Lord has another purpose for her.